I’ve called myself a geek for longer than I can remember. It’s always seemed to just…fit. I enjoy science fiction, fantasy, videogames and (most of all) comics, I understand computers, I can produce useless bits of trivia at a moments notice. My credentials were pretty much impeccable. Lately, though, I’ve begun to question if I have the levels of commitment and obsession to truly qualify as a geek.

I like science fiction, but I’ve never sat through a single episode of the original Star Trek and have probably seen only a handful of episodes of any of the spinoffs like New Generation, Voyager, Deep Space 9, or Enterprise. Some would argue that skipping stuff like Enterprise is merely a sign of good taste and my ability to name all of the spinoffs alone qualifies me as a geek, but I’m not quite done.

I like the original Star Wars trilogy, but I realize that they really weren’t all that good. The prequels only made that more obvious.

And I really don’t care who shot first.

I’ve never seen most of the other classic science fiction series. I know what Babylon 5 and Farscape are, but I’ve never seen them. I missed entire season of Battlestar Galactica, including the last one. Twilight Zone may be a classic, but it also bores me to tears. I don’t think I could claim science fiction geekery. Hell, I don’t even care whether you call it SF, Speculative Fiction, Science Fiction, SciFi, or even the dreaded SyFy.

I’m probably even worse in fantasy. I read the entire Lord of The Rings saga once, but that was mostly out of sheer stubbornness. JRR Tolkien may be the god of world building, but the man was a boring writer. Robert Jordan was marginally better, but I wouldn’t delve into the Wheel of Time to save my life. My kid’s lives…. maybe, but I wouldn’t count on it. I love George RR Martin’s Songs of Fire and Ice, but I can’t even remember when the last installment came out. I stuck through Stephen King’s Dark Tower cycle, which marginally qualifies as fantasy, but I doubt that it really gains me any points in the fantasy geek department. The only fantasy books I read these days are Jim Butcher’s Harry Dresden books and occasionally others along that line (though never again will I touch Laurel K Hamilton’s books), but they’re about as fantasy as Avril Lavigne is punk. You may think that liking that genre means I loved Buffy, but I missed probably three times as many episodes as I watched. I think I may have finally watched all of Angel, but my point stands. In the end, I think my only (miniscule) qualification is occasionally playing World of Warcraft, and even jocks and stockbrokers do that.

Computers? Don’t make me laugh. There was a time when I was on track to being a major tech geek. I majored in Electrical Engineering with a computer science emphasis, worked in tech support, and built computers on the side. Then I stopped really caring about computers all that much. I can still troubleshoot and read tech articles without my eyes glazing over, but it’s just not the same. That’s beside the fact that I now use Macs almost exclusively and thus have to learn alot of stuff all over again. I only learned how to release and renew the IP on this sucker last week.

If anything, I’m a comics geek. I can explain to you the origin of almost any comics character as well as the theme of their existence and usually I’m not even tripped up by the fifty continuity reboots that have happened in DC comics. I still love comics, but I can’t really bring myself to care as much as I used to. When finances went to crap, I quit reading comics and haven’t really been keeping up for the past few months. The other day I realized that it really doesn’t bother me that much to be missing out. I have very little idea what’s going on in comics today and I honestly can’t say that I miss it all too much. Batman’s dead, who knows what’s going on with Superman, pretty much anybody who ever died in the DC Universe is back and eating hearts, The villains run the Marvel Universe, and all I can manage is a resounding “Meh.” I’ll undoubtedly start reading again and catch up with what I’ve missed, but I don’t feel a burning need to do so. That lack of passion makes me think that I may have lost my geek touch.

Which is the real problem. I just don’t care all that much anymore. Keanu Reeves’ performance in Constantine has very little resemblance to the John Constantine in Hellblazer, but I still enjoyed the movie. I may have enjoyed it more if they hadn’t called the movie Constantine, but it’s not that big of a deal. The same goes for Wanted. It was a fun movie. Nowhere near as good as Mark Millar’s comic series, and I still think they could make a very good, very faithful adaptation of the series, but I still kinda liked it.

This, more than anything else, is a cardinal sin of geekdom and I don’t care. I think they just may pull my card.

Baby brothers can be a headache.

Rhonda and I have been having some trouble with Nick. Since Harper has come home, Nick seems more argumentative, prone to tantrums and screaming fits, and “potty accidents”, all of which we thought we left behind.

Anyone who has read about “toddler regression” will probably recognize the classic signs of a toddler who is insecure with his place in the family. As far as I understand it, Nick may be having issues with the idea that he is no longer the main focus of the adults’ attention around here and is trying to emulate the behaviors of the person who is now receiving all the attention – his baby brother. Which makes alot of sense, really, even though I doubt it’s quite so calculated.

While this is highly frustrating for Rhonda and me, it sounds like a fairly common occurrence and not really anything to worry about. Here’s how some experts recommend dealing with Nick’s issues:

• Accept it, to a point. Refrain from criticizing the “babyish” behavior – the point isn’t to shame the kid and you risk him deciding that bad attention is better than no attention. Instead, try to let the regression slide but make sure to praise the “adult” behavior profusely. He’ll remember that being a big boy is the way to go eventually.
• Avoid comparisons to the baby, negative or positive. You don’t want to spark sibling rivalry early and the child needs to be assured that some things are all about him. Regardless of the baby, he is a big boy and his parents love him. He needs to be reassured
• Make sure to set aside time for the older sibling. Play Legos, read a bedtime story, whatever. Just set aside at least 15 minutes a day that are all about your toddler.
• Recruit your toddler to help with feedings or diaper changes. Let him be Mom and Dad’s little helper. If he resists, though, don’t push – this could just cause further resentment. Encourage, but don’t force.
• Watch the whole gift thing. If all of your visitors come by with toys for the new baby and none for the older sibling, that can be disheartening. Ask visitors to bring a token gift for your toddler, too. It doesn’t have to be big, it’s the thought that counts. Besides, Nick gets ecstatic over toys from the quarter machines at the grocery store.
• Finally, take a step back in the training process, too. Remind your toddler about bathroom breaks and whatnot, insist when he resists, and so forth. You’ve done this before, you know what you’re doing.

Ideas on how long this whole regression lasts seem to vary between a few weeks to a few months. You know your toddler better than anyone. If the recommended steps don’t seem to be working, talk to your child’s doctor.

Above all, love your kids. They need it.

Despite all the teasers and build-up leading to the big Episode 100, Meredith and Derek do not get married this week. Let me just get that out of the way right now. But there is a wedding, and it’s actually much better than the wedding we were led to expect. Really, nothing that happens before the last fifteen minutes of this episode matters, and I’m not sure that I can adequately explain to you those fifteen minutes that do matter, but I’m going to try to give you a decent recap anyway.

The Chief has been recruited by Derek to “deliver” Meredith’s wedding present. Meredith didn’t even know that they were supposed to get wedding gifts and wants to turn down Derek’s gift since she didn’t get one for him, but changes her mind when the Chief reveals that the gift is her first solo surgery – a colonoscopy overseen by the Chief. I think the original plan was for Derek to oversee the surgery, but he somehow decided that operating on people’s brains was more important than watching his future wife operate on buttholes, so the Chief stepped in. Nothing much comes of this, other than the Chief complimenting Meredith at the end and saying her mother would be proud, even if she wouldn’t be able to say so.

Callie is picking up a second shift running the ER when a semi hits an SUV full of kids on their way to their college graduation. While Callie is running around trying to keep things flowing, Arizona is pestering her to tell her what was wrong with their date the previous night. Callie obviously doesn’t want to talk about it, and is busy trying to save some lives, but Arizona won’t let up. Callie finally explodes and tells her that the problem was that she couldn’t afford the restaurant they went to and Arizona makes some kind of placating gesture about staying in and eating pizza from now on and I really just could not care less. I really like them as a couple, but this just seemed ridiculous.

And how the hell does a doctor not have seventy fricking dollars? I have seventy dollars and I don’t even have a job right now! I know those bastards make more money than I do. Callie needs a financial counselor, STAT!

Oh, those college students? They all die. Every single one. Except for the valedictorian chick who’s all angsty because she didn’t sleep with one of her friends and now will never get a chance. But the dead adult/children have an effect on the doctors. George is broken up because the only one who survived is the one he didn’t touch. I may be wrong, but I think this may be the first patients who’ve died under O’Malley’s care, so it was kind of a major shock to him. McBadass tries to reassure him by explaining that he wouldn’t have been able to save that one girl if George hadn’t handled all of the others. Owen tells him that Trauma is a team sport and George is just as responsible for that girl surviving as everyone else, but George seems less than placated. When one of the kids talks about being with his girlfriend even when they know they shouldn’t be, because they love each other that much, Cristina seems to start considering trying to make things work with Owen. And when Alex convinces the valedictorian to make her valedictory address about her life beginning today to him to take her mind off of her friends in preparation for her surgery… we’ll come back to that.

Izzy, of course, is excited that the dream wedding she planned is finally happening. Her mets seem to be cleared and she seems to be in good health and spirits, so she’s cleared to go to the wedding. But then she starts seeing Denny again. Bailey and Derek give her another MRI, but can’t find a tumor anywhere. Finally, Derek gets the idea to map her brain waves when she hallucinates Denny in order to locate the problem. It works, but Derek realizes that the tumor is so small and recessed that he can’t operate. As he’s wishing aloud that there was something he could do for her, Bailey comes up with an idea, though we’re not let in on the idea quite yet.

This sets up a chain reaction of Derek suggesting it to Meredith and so on (though we’re still not told what’s up) and I finally figure out what their plan is when Meredith talks to Alex. We’re definitely let in on the plan when Meredith comes into Izzie’s room with the dress in her arms and tells Izzie that this isn’t her dress. Izzie doesn’t get it and thinks Meredith’s getting cold feet until Meredith lays it out and tells Izzie that this is Izzie’s dress and Izzie’s dream wedding about the same time as Alex shows up in a tux.

The wedding’s all sorts of beautiful, and I don’t even really like weddings. Izzie asks Yang to be her maid of honor because Cristina saved her life by outing her about the cancer and Meredith serves as Alex’s best man.

As Izzie’s walking down the aisle, she has a weak moment and stumbles, so George gets up and walks her down the aisle, effectively giving her away to Alex.

When the priest asks them to recite their vows, Izzie laments that they didn’t write any, but Alex busts out with a modified version of the valedictorian’s speech, talking about how his life begins today, he is becoming a man and husband and will stand by her through everything no matter what and it’s incredibly sweet and I did NOT cry, I don’t care what you heard!

….and that’s really the episode, other than Izzie’s hair falling out until Alex tells her to just shave it off because she’ll still be hot bald. He’s kinda right, too.

The teasers for next week’s season finale hint that Izzie’s going under the knife and there’s a risk that she’ll lose her memory. Wouldn’t it suck if she didn’t remember Alex?

Hollywood Chicago had the scoop on the next – and maybe final – page for WhySoSerious.com:

Moments ago, I received via e-mail from humanresources@whysoserious.com a new WhySoSerious.com message and code for “The Dark Knight” viral marketing.

“Heads up, clown! Tomorrow means that there’s one last shifty step left in the interview process: Arwoeufgryo”

By moving each letter one to the right on a QWERTY keyboard, the word “steprightup” is spelled.

This led to a new WhySoSerious.com page at the URL www.whysoserious.com/steprightup with a countdown to 12 p.m. EST on Dec. 4 along with a stuffed monkey with an exposed stomach.

Ok, I didn’t get the countdown in there, which was at mere seconds, but you get the idea.

When the countdown finished, the page reloaded into this:

Click on that note and you get:

Each of those stuffed animals is holding a note card with an address:

And I’m certain that something is going on with that test your strength light show, but I can’t figure it out.

If anyone happens to get these prizes, please let me know – I’m curious what the payoff is!

UPDATE: There are more addresses! And CAKES!! AND CELL PHONES!!! As always, the collaborative genius of the Superhero Hype boards is on the case. Also, it looks like the weight on the strength tester goes higher as more cakes are found – I knew there was a purpose for it!

ANOTHER UPDATE!!! All the cakes have been found. Ring the bell and two flags and some confetti pop out. Click that and you are taken to a new page, Pair Of Jokers.

Click on one joker card, you’re taken to a
page with a list of IMAX theaters that will presumably have some kind of special event surrounding the 6 minute prologue I wrote about in in the post before this one.

There is also a form to register for free tickets. Too bad none of these theaters are close to me.

Click on the other joker card, and you’re taken to a page with a new poster:

I’m sure there will be reports on these events, and I’ll write about them as well as my own experience with I Am Legend and the prologue.

I was so disappointed and turned off by some of the recent Evil Dead comic adaptations, like Darkman vs Army of Darkness and Marvel Zombies vs Army of Darkness, that I almost didn’t pick up Freddy vs Jason vs Ash.

Rarely have I been so glad to be so wrong. This first issue feels much more like the recent Friday the 13th comics than the recent hokieness of the aforementioned Army of Darkness books, what with the blood and gore and graphic violence that I love. If I had read about this on any news sites before, I can’t remember, but I quickly realized that this series is an adaptation of the treatment that Jeff Katz wrote years ago for a sequel to Freddy vs Jason that would include Ash. Obviously, the movie was never made, but the treatment got out on the internet and obviously got enough good hype that they finally decided to turn it into a comic. Since I read the treatment, I almost certainly know how this is going to end, but I’m still excited to see how they do this.

Anyway, on to this particular issue. I suppose you could say that spoilers will follow, but there are no big plot reveals or surprises here, it’s a slasher book, ferchrissakes!

So our story is taking place five years after the events of Freddy vs Jason, and Crystal Lake is undergoing a makeover, including renaming the town Forest Green and getting a new Superdupermegaawesome S Mart, the managers of which are asking a Mr. Ashley Williams to help get their Housewares Department in order, which brings Ash into the game.

Since Jason can never ever ever EVAR die, he’s still going and Freddy is trapped in his subconcious. Freddy realizes that the Necronomicon can free him and – posing as Jason’s mom – sends Jason after the book, which gives us the main conflict of the story.

If you want a high-browed, Alan Moore-penned work of literary genius full of subtext and whatnot, go read The Black Dossier. If you want fun, blood, guts, and smart-ass guys with chainsaw arms, go grab Freddy vs Jason vs Ash. You won’t regret it.

I suck.

I had this reasonably good review of Powers #26 written up. I had a nice breakdown about the story so far, why it was necessary to have a recap because of the months between issues, and all that. I was smart, witty, concise… I was awesome, people.

And then I somehow deleted it. Then I cried. Then I decided I did not have the energy to do it again, so now you just get my argument for why Hulk is totally justified in killing the entire Illuminati. I hope you’ll survive the disappointment.

Iron Man and his cronies decide that, through accidents and collateral damage, The Hulk is responsible for far too many deaths. They then formulate a plan to trick the Hulk into getting into a spacecraft and then sending him, against his will, to another planet.

Transporting a person against their will is known as kidnapping, by the way.

When the Hulk arrives on the – admittedly wrong – planet, he is beaten, enslaved, and forced to engage in fights to the death. Through skill, cunning, and exemplary leadership, the Hulk escapes his slavery and leads an army of former slaves to overthrow a tyrannical dictatorship and unite an entire planet in peace.

At the moment Hulk has finally attained the peace that he has sought his entire existence, the ship that the Illuminati used to abduct him explodes, not only killing his wife and unborn child, not only the residents of the city around him, but killing the ENTIRE PLANET.

Let me repeat that. They didn’t blow up a town the size of… I don’t know, let’s say Stamford, CT. They ANNHILATED AN ENTIRE PLANET!

The Hulk may have been responsible for alot of deaths, but I’m fairly certain he never destroyed an entire planet.

That’s not mass genocide, people. There’s not even a word for the scale of massacre for which Tony Stark is responsible.

Considering what was done to the Hulk because of the deaths he caused, considering the regulations that have been put on the entire superhuman community as a result of Stamford, is it even possible to go “too far” to punish the people that have done this to the Hulk and his people?

I’ve heard the argument that the Illuminati didn’t intend for the Hulk to end up on that planet or for the ship to blow up. The Hulk didn’t intend the deaths he caused. Robbie Baldwin and the New Warriors didn’t intend for the children in Stamford to die.

In fact, let me give you a scenario here. A bank robber is leaving the scene of a crime and hits a woman and her baby, killing both. Is that bank robber responsible for those deaths? I think we’d all agree that he is. So why would the Illuminati be any less responsible for the deaths caused by their kidnapping of the Hulk?

They’re not.

The Hulk may be unreasonable, he may even be a monster, but he admits that.

Tony Stark is an even bigger monster who tries to hide behind “The Public Good.”

Just another Lex Luthor who needs a beat down.